情融于景，拳拳父母心；合理建议，英语话题中

2007陕西英语书面表达析

陕西 高晓锋

【真题赏析】（2007年陕西卷）

背景材料：

English Horizons     第25卷   总228（5/2007）期

编者按：本期刊出Lora的来信，欢迎读者就信中谈到的问题进        A & Q      行分析并提出建议。                                     互动空间 Dear editor,     I’m a senior high school student, and I want to work part-time this summer. I think it is good to do so, but my parents don’t agree with me I just can’t understand them I need your advice.                                                    Lara

要求：                                    提纲：

1.短文须写在答题卡的指定区域。            第1段：Lora利用暑假打工的理由

2.短文词数不少于80（不含已写好的部分）。  第2段：Lora父母不同意的理由

3.内容充实，结构完整，语意连贯。          第3段：你给Lora的具体建议

4.书写须清晰、工整。

一、试题特点

1. 以English Horizons中刊登Lora信件，要读者就信中问题分析，并提出建议。内容符合考纲要求，问题出现在现实生活，实用性强。

2． 难易适度，区分度适中，有利于学生发挥，进一步展现学生英语水平。

二、临场发挥

1．审题。体裁---英文稿件；时态---一般现在时为主；人称---一、三人称。

2．分析。根据提纲，分为三段，层次分明。分别叙述其理由和你的合理建议。

3．提炼。Lora: (1)make some pocket money,

(2)learn how to deal with various problems,

(3)build up new friendships and improve her social skills.

Lora’s parents：(1) learning as an increasingly important task for Lora.

               (2) catch-up time for independent study.

(3) personal safety.

Your advice: (1) make a detailed plan for her study and work.

            (2) ask her friends to work together with her.

            (3) tell her parents that she can manage things properly.

4．成文。把提炼的要点，根据要求，加上适当的过渡，连句成文。

三、思维误区

1．审题不当。考生会误以为写回信分析理由，提出建议而误解出题人的初衷。这也是命题的“玄机”所在，从根本上考查学生的感悟、分析、和解决问题的应变能力。

2．“我”字当头。考生会只注意建议而一味使用一人称，忽视分析理由而用其它人称。

四、高分范文

I think that Lora w ants to work part-time for these reasons. First, she can make some pocket money to meet her daily needs and thus develop a sense of independence. Second. she can learn how to deal with various problems in the workplace. Third, she can build up new friendships and improve her social skills.

But her parents may regard learning as an increasingly important task for Lora. This holiday should be a catch-up time for independent study. Besides, personal safety may also be one of their major considerations.

My advice for Lora is this: make a detailed plan for her study and work; ask her friends to work together with her, and tell her parents that she can manage things properly. I wish Lora a pleasant summer.

五、亮点展现

1．总体评价：范文依据要求组材，层次分明，巧妙运用了顺序词汇连接要点，最后祝愿得体。

2．高级表达：词汇：meet one’s needs, a sense of independence, deal with, regard, build up, catch-up, consideration, manage, properly, pleasant.

句式：宾语从句：…and tell her parents that she can manage things properly.

        祝愿句：I wish Lora a pleasant summer.

过渡词：first, second，third, and ,thus but, besides.

【悟后再练】

最近学校组织学生召开了一次座谈会。目的是了解学生对校长、老师以及家长的看法。根据下表所提供的信息，请你以What I Want to Speak Out Most为题写一篇100至120词的短文。

对象	对象
创造良好的校园环境；多倾听学生的心声，让大家劳逸结合	校长
让我们多思考；笑脸是阳光，课上不要太严肃	老师
多理解我们；给我们更多的独立空间	家长

 

One possible version:

As a senior student, I have many things in mind to speak out most.

First, to the headmaster, I’d like to suggest creating a better environment for us to live and study in. we devote all the time to our lessons, so we’d like more time to relax. Relaxation is of equal importance. Besides, we hope to have more communication with you so that you can learn about our opinions.

Second, to the teachers, we hope you can give us more free time to think by ourselves and smile more in class, because smile is sunshine.

Finally, to our parents, we expect you to have a better understanding of us. Meanwhile, to be independent, we need more space of our own.

Only by communicating with each other can we get along well together.

 

第 页

责任编辑:yingyubao