高三4月1期4版_学生英语报

2007年高考英语书面表达优秀文章点评（上）

河南张锐

1.高考试题（满分25分）

假定你是李华，希望通过外籍教师Peter找一位英语笔友。请写一封短信，描述一下你理想中笔友的条件，并说明为什么选这样的笔友。具体条件包括：

1．年龄；

2．性别；

3．爱好（旅游、运动、宠物等）。

注意：1. 词数：100左右；

2．可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；

3．开头语已为你写好。

Dear Peter,

I’m writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Best regards,

Li Hua

2．文章点评

( 1 )

Dear Peter,

I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favour.

I have a desire to find a pen friend who is a 17 girl with some traveling experiences and fond of travelling alone as I am. I still want to find a person who can keep me company.

The reasons why I make the choice are as the follows. As far as I’m concerned, there will be plenty of topics we can talk about, especially on travelling. We are both girls, thus making our travel more convenient. Attracted to travelling, I want to see more scenery which is a feast to eyes. Communicating with people in different areas, I can have a better understanding of their life and culture. Of course, things will be better if I have a partener.

I’m looking forward to your respond. On finding a girl who meets my needs, you can write to me.

Best regards,

Li Hua

点评：本文基本覆盖所有内容要点，应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求，使用基本正确。例如：have a desire to find a pen friend / with some traveling experiences / The reasons why I make the choice / there will be plenty of topics to talk about。

但是，短文有些地方表达得不清楚。如：As far as I’m concerned / Of course, things will be better if I have a partener. 主要语法错误有：a 17 girl应当改为a 17-year-old girl; the follows应当改为follows; a feast to eyes应当改为a feast for eyes; your respond可改为hearing from you soon。另外，结束语最后一句不得体，应当删除。

本文得20分。

第页

责任编辑:yingyubao


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