高三6月1期3版_学生英语报

考前冲刺写作热点点睛（上）

——观点对比类书面表达

山东程薇莉

对于观点对比型作文，文章的整体结构有一定的模式可循，一般分为正反观点型或利弊型（即AB型）和不同观点列举型（即ABC型）。

对正反观点型，可以先写对比的一方面，再写另外一方面，即按A1-A3；B1-B3模式来写；也可以将对比的两个方面的不同要点一一比较着来写，即按A1-B1，A2-B2，A3-B3模式来写，至于选用哪种模式来写好，这要根据题目的具体内容来确定，一般以能够使文章逻辑关系更清晰出错率更少为选用原则。对于不同观点列举型的写作，往往有对作者表达自己观点的要求，只需在表达清出观点A和观点B后，另起一段，简要地写出自己的观点，画出这一“点睛”之笔即可，即按A-B-C模式来写。在表达作者自己的观点时一般要自成一段，这样能够使文章层次更清晰。请看下面题例：

【例1 AB型】近来网上纷纷报道，2007年11月27日，甘肃省一彩民中得中国福利彩票（Chinese welfare lottery ticket）奖金1.13亿元！大奖的消息传出后，立即引起国内众多媒体的关注和评论，为此你在班上也搞了一次调查，调查的主题是How to deal with the abundant money。请根据下面表格中调查的内容写一篇不少于150字的英语短文来客观地报道这一现象。开头部分已经为你写出，不计入总词数。

（70%）想法

1. 捐献（donate）一部分钱帮助失学孩子就学。

2. 捐献给慈善机构（charity）建立个人基金。

（30%）想法

1. 继续中大奖。

2. 一部分给亲戚，大部分留给自己。

It is reported that a citizen in Gansu Province got 113 million Yuan by winning welfare lottery ticket, which has attracted the public’s attention and comments all over the country…

【简析】这道题以表格的形式给出正反两方的观点内容，具体对比的内容十分清晰，题目要求“客观的报道”也就是说只需按给出的要点表达清楚即可，不允许加入个人观点。这样，可以先写正方的观点，再写反方的观点，写的时候，注意单个要点的表达即可，即按照A1-A3；B1-B3模式来写。

【参考范文】

How to deal with the abundant money

It is reported that a citizen in Gansu Province got 113 million Yuan by winning welfare lottery tickets, which has attracted the public’s attention and comments all over the country. Yesterday our class held a heated discussion about it. The results of the survey are as follows:

Seven out of ten persons reach an agreement that part of the money should be denoted to support the children who have dropped or are dropping out of school for their poor families. What’s more, he also can make a contribution to the charities, or set up personal funds and so on. In their point of view, if he does do so, his life will be of great significance, he will be honoured forever in our society and he will own more than just money. After all, money doesn’t mean everything.

On the contrary, the rest of the students hold the opinion that he can use the money to continue his lottery ticket for the sake of gaining more money. On the other hand, he can give a small sum of money to his relatives but the rest is still owned by himself. He can do whatever he likes to.

【例2 ABC型】

今年国务院出台政策取消了已经实行了7年的“五一”黄金周，由原来的长假调整为短假，人们

正在网上就假期的调整问题进行讨论。请你跟据下面所给的要点提示，以“Should the Golden Week be cancelled?”为题用英语写一篇短文，描述目前存在的两种看法，并陈述你的观点。

赞成取消的人认为：

反对取消的人认为：

你的观点

1. 给交通、旅游者安全和环境带来巨大的压力；

2. 购票难；

3. 服务质量下降。

1. 消费需求得到满足；

2. 促进旅游业和经济发展。

……

注意：

1. 词数：不少于150字；

2. 参考词汇：黄金周the Golden week

【简析】这道题与上题一样也是以表格的形式给出的不同观点内容，所不同的是除要求表达清楚两种不同观点外，还要求给出自己的观点。即属于不同观点列举型，要按照A-B-C模式来写。

【参考范文】

Should the Golden Week be cancelled?

Recently, a discussion is being carried on about whether the Golden Week should be cancelled or not.

Some people agree to cancel the Golden Week. They point out that nationwide traveling has put big pressure on transportation, tourist safety and the environment. The Golden Week results in crowded scenic spots and packed hotels, making the quality of service worse.

However, other people argue the Golden Week has encouraged people to spend more during the seven-day holiday so it has brought huge profits to the nation’s tourism industry and promoted the economic growth.

Despite the fact that voices opposing its cancellation are stronger. I still think the current Golden Week might as well be cancelled. For one thing, while people need to relax and common vacation time is very important. We should take into consideration not only incomes, but also the satisfaction of those who take the holiday. For another, after all, the new list of public holidays includes important traditional festivals, such as the Dragon Boat Festival and Mid-Autumn Festival, which conform to our country’s actual conditions. Therefore, we should readjust the nation’s new public holidays.

一般说来，观点对比型文章内在的逻辑关系十分清晰，因而大家对文章的结构不必十分担心。这类文章除了考查考生的英文基础，主要还是考查学生的逻辑分析能力，具体说，就是上下文的衔接过渡和文章层次的体现，如：firstly, secondly, finally等类似的连接词，过渡词或类似“every coin has two sides”这样的总述句的运用，仔细研读上文两篇范文中的斜体部分，不难看出这些词、句正是体现文章内在逻辑关系的外在标志，也是反映阅卷标准中所强调的文章具有“复杂性、连贯性”的“闪光点”。大家在平常的学习和写作中，要注意这方面内容的积累和练习。

【注意的问题】

1.避免原始直译，要视文意灵活转化表达要点。

上述书面表达属于给材料观点对比式作文，写这类文章时，考生往往犯原始直译的错误，就是考生机械地、不经加工整合将两个对比要点按次序逐项翻译，这样易造成大量不地道的重复句式，使写出来的文章显得死板松散。如:Six percent of the students think… Forty percent of the students think…;they shouldn’t… they should…等类似的重复句式。

2.确保写作要点的全面性，增强文章的连贯性。

高考英语书面表达给分范围和要求中规定:要覆盖全面要点。但是考生在写对比式书面表达时，往往过分注意对比项目要求的内容而忽视了书面表达写作说明所要求的内容及常识的要求，这样使写出的文章缺乏连贯性，读起来过于呆板。如不少考生遗漏括号里面的内容，也有不少考生遗漏了信的结尾，这都造成失分。

3.巧用较复杂结构或较高级词汇，提高文章的表达档次。

高考书面表达的最高层次就是要求考生运用一些较复杂结构或较高级词汇来提高文章的档次和品位。上述范文中使用了定语从句、同位语从句、主语从句、被动句、复合宾语、分词短语等较复杂结构。当然,考生也不必要刻意地一味地追求新、奇、特、难的语法结构。正确的做法是，考生应根据表达的需要巧用一些易于表达且效果较好的语法，如状语从句、定语从句、倒装句、强调句型、分词作状语、with复合结构、宾语从句、such as、such be等。这些句型操作起来相对简便易行，巧妙的运用它们，能为你的文章增添风采。

4.有效使用过渡型词汇，增强文章的对比性和紧凑性。

对比型书面表达提供的要点往往不完整、不具体，考生必须把这些要点有机的组合起来，这就需要使用过渡的词汇来增加文章的连贯性、有机性。如上述范文使用了On the other hand, For one thing, For another, What’s more, First of all, Secondly, Besides等，特别在列举不同观点时，用到了Some think... Others think...In my opinion ... 使结构紧凑，对比醒目，文意连贯。因此，建议考生应该重点记住以下过渡性词汇：

表因果关系 thanks to，as a result of, on account of

表递进关系：what’s more, still more, moreover, furthermore, to make things worse

表列举：first of all, firstly, finally

表转折关系：however, otherwise, on the contrary

表对称关系：for one thing, for another thing, on(the)one hand, on the other hand.

表归纳总结：above all, at last, in a word, in summary, to sum up, as has been stated

表过渡的插入语：As we all know, as far as I know, I’m sure

表列举、说明：for example, for instance, such as, that is to say, in other words, actually, according to , in addition等，这些过渡词汇使用场合十分广泛，表达效果甚是看好，只要考生熟练掌握其使用特点，并在平时写作中有意识地使用，相信在高考书面表达中都可以有选择地将其派上用场，从而增加文章的“亮点”。

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